happy anniversary?

So. May first is coming up. Know what that is?

It's my one year recovery anniversary. Yay?

I have mixed feelings about all this. I mean...The first year is the hardest, right? Please let it be so. I've been through hell just to get this far.

My thoughts on my first year:

1st month: Recovery sucks. What am I doing?
2nd month: Relapse. But then recovery again.
3rd month: Eh. Recovery kinda sucks, but I'll deal.
4th month: yay, I'm getting good at this!
5th month: Oh, never mind. relapse.
6th month: I'll never purge again!
7th month: I'll never starve again!
8th month: uh...never mind. Just this once.
9th month: Still gotta work on binge eating.
10th month: Holy c*** how can people live with eating disorders!?
11th month: I want to save the world!
12th month: Wow. A year already?

Hi! (again)

Alright. I know I haven't been on much, but I've been busy. Sue me.

I return to post a happy post for dylphe. If you haven't read her blog, you TOTALLY should. She's an awesome person.

Good posts start with good news: I am totally recovered! I say that, because I haven't relapsed in like 4-6 months. I went without weighing myself for two months, then when I did, I didn't freak out or anything. Are you ready? I weigh 165 pounds. And I'm HAPPY. A year ago, I would have deemed this an impossible scenario. So if you're scared of recovery, or rather, of becoming "fat", know this: After your body recovers from your eating disorder, you will feel uncomfortable and will probably relapse a couple times. This is okay. Learn from your relapses. And the better part: After your MIND recovers from your eating disorder, your perception of "fat" and "thin" Will change. You will learn to love your body and thus, your life.

If you have any questions about recovery, leave a comment. Or email me at curlytop36@hotmail.com. Be sure to put something like "recovery" in your subject, so it doesn't go to the spam folder.


And happy! What's happier than adorable bunnies? NOTHING. photos courtesy of dailybunny.org