....then I realized I haven't posted. Sorry!
So the guy I prostituted with got mad cause he went all stalker on me and found this blog. Oh well. And THEN I told my therapist and she told me I had a 'pact' with her to not do it again. This is what I said:
"You do realize I've broken just about every pact we've had so far, right?"
She went on about how I need to find a girl/guy my age and just go out for coffee or something. What the hell? And also how I haven't ever had a real relationship and maybe, if I have one I wouldn't be so messed up.
Well, for that to happen, it would require someone to LOVE ME. And I, in turn, would have to LOVE THEM BACK. I don't see any possibilities for either of those happening.
On the eating front: Without my double life, I have anxiety again. I realize once again that I'm horribly fat and should stop eating until I die. Sigh. I'll post more later, I promise, but right now I'm depressed because my psychiatrist reminded me that I am unworthy of real love.
how did he manage to do that? Weirdo.
ReplyDeleteYou are not unworthy of real love it's just hard to find. I've been single for so long I don't even know what it's like to be in a relationship anymore. I hunger for it to. Even though at the same time I don't. I feel like I'm to screwed up.
Just like with being thin, I think there's to much pressure on being in love.
Ugh creeper. Did he like the comment about his small penis? Haha!
ReplyDeleteI'd love to be in a relationship too, I'm just too terrified of actually letting someone get close to me. It sounds quite the same with you
:(
sorry babe